What is it about cruising that inspires the strangest notions of style and good taste? Cruise Critic member time4u2go posed the question on the message boards recently: “What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever seen on a cruise?”
And although members have weighed in with stories of seniors brawling in the theatre, bats hanging onto curtains in the cabins, stateroom attendants caught snoring while on duty and couples up to all sorts of mischief in the glass elevators, almost all the funny tales are of dodgy dress sense.
At sea, it seems, anything goes, and no much flesh on show is too much.
Member Jancy recollects: “On the Costa line a few years ago, one of the shops sold beautiful silk pieces that you could tie into formal wrap around dress. Very snobbish Italian couple walking past the bar on formal night- she was gorgeous – her dress slips off onto the floor to revel a very tiny G -string and that’s all!”
Several members mention couples who dress identically – an alarmingly regular occurrence. Familygoboston says: “The strangest was a couple who dressed identically throughout the cruise; not alike, as in same colors, but in the exact same brand and style of clothing, wearing hats that proclaimed their love for one another by name.”
Then there’s the Bad Hair Day. According to member Imsulin, “Two ladies (of suspect character) were arrested while trying to re-board the SS Norway in St. Maarten. Apparently, they had drugs hidden in their Really Big Hair. We had all noticed the “RBH” for a couple of days beforehand, because it was so weird! I mean REALLY Big Hair!!”
Or taking ‘casual’ to the extreme? Trekker954 recalls “A grown woman passenger, who appeared sane otherwise, wore pyjamas and big animal slippers everywhere, all day. She wore them to breakfast; she wore them to line dancing and trivia; she wore them drinking cocktails, and she wore them in the promenade.”
How about this, from Cruisebunnies, spotted on Holland America’s Zuiderdam? “A woman would wheel herself into the bar, hop on a barstool and clip off her artificial foot and put it on the bar!”
Then there are the themed cruises. It takes all sorts. Billsfan83 remembers: “Enchantment [of the Seas, a Royal Caribbean ship] had a small vampire convention. One guy kind of looked like Jack Sparrow, and had inch long nails cut like daggers. His girl had fang implant teeth.”
Goths have gatherings at sea, too, as encountered by Mintjulip123: “They came fully equipped with their own Evil faery (the DJ). Some of the costumes were very different. There was one guy with his teeth filed down, wore dragon wings, and contacts in the shape of snake eyes. One good thing, we never had a problem getting a chair in the sun by the pool.”
Sadly, Speedos and teeny bikinis make too many unwelcome appearances in our members’ cruise experiences, almost always on people who should know better, wear something sturdier or age more gracefully. On a Celebrity Century July 4 cruise, member Abhb observed “An older German lady, with leather wrinkled skin, was wearing a sequinned American flag teeny bikini.”
But this one from Millardjoy made me laugh the hardest. “Enjoying a sea day on the upper deck. My husband points out a topless woman a bit down from me (she has a big floppy hat and I can’t see her face)….then we notice her male companion lying next to her on his stomach…..going….commando. Got even more interesting when he rolls over a covers himself with a tiny white washcloth from the cabins…
“Best part….wait for it….they are our table mates. We were so freaked out we ate at the specialty restaurants for a few nights.”
What’s the wackiest outfit you’ve seen on the high seas? Let us know!